The time has come to go back to work… and you don’t quite know how to feel. There are so many emotions swirling in your heart and while you know it isn’t attainable, all you want to do is spend the days snuggling your baby for just a little longer. I understand.
Here is my guide to making those first few days of transition easier for you as you pop the maternity leave bubble and re-enter the workforce!
Before we dive in, let me introduce myself if we haven’t met yet! My name is Brooklyn! I’m a 23 year old first-time mom to my precious 4-month old baby girl, Mayson Claire! My husband and I are lifelong residents of south Louisiana and have been married for two and a half years now. I am middle/high school science teacher at a Christian school and have been a coach for 4 years now! I love discussing all things teaching, coaching, momming, and budgeting in hopes of adding a little value to your life through my experiences; even if I just help you to know you are never alone and always loved.
Okay, so HOW do people survive this? Going back to work and leaving your baby with someone who isn’t you? It’s hard, it’s new, it’s scary, BUT we can do it, and feel okay at the end of the day too. We can even be proud of ourselves! Here’s how!
Step 1: Know your place in their life!
The first thing you need to do is recognize that working does not make you any less their mama. Naturally, we have this thought or fear that if we aren’t the one responding to their every cry, they’ll forget us… or even worse prefer a new caretaker over us.
Please rest assured, this will never be the case. I have worked in education for the past 5 years. My college years, I worked in the infant room at a local daycare. We cared for, loved on, and attended to each and every need of the babies in our care for all hours of the day, but as a mom, I take comfort in knowing that there was nothing we could do as daycare workers that would ever make their eyes shine like they would when they saw their mama. There is an innate, biological connection between a baby and their mama, one that a few hours at work cannot separate.
We live in a world full of stories. We have seen the Facebook posts or know friends and family who were mistreated by crazy parents who still love and desire their mothers in their lives. I promise, going to work to provide a life for your children in this hard-to-manage economy will do nothing to drive a wedge between you and baby. You will always be their one and only mom. And one day they will be proud to see that their mom not only had the superpower of raising them, but also left her legacy out on the lives of so many others.
Step 2: Understanding the value your provide in the workforce.
There was a quote that would ring in my head when I thought leaving the house to work was impossible: “The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.” – Kalu Nduwke Kalu
While we all know being a mom itself requires huge sacrifices and is an incredible part of our legacy, is it also impossible to acknowledge that God has called some of us to extend our legacy in avenues outside of the home?
For me, personally as a teacher, I know I can have a direct impact on so many lives by showing up to work with a kind heart every day. Despite what society may try to convince you of, if God has paved a road where going back to work is a necessity, maybe it’s because you have something you need to share with the world!
Our families and children will always be our priority. We know that. But it doesn’t make you less of a wife or mom to also follow God’s calling to impart your gifts on the rest of the world. In fact, if it gives you a sense of purpose at all, it can also help make you a better mom!
When your sweet babies have grown and can look back on the legacy you have created serving others, imagine how proud they will be to be able to say “that’s MY mom”! You will have set an example to them that being a present and nurturing parent doesn’t also mean that you cannot be anyone else to anything else.
Step 3: Take a realistic look at the experiences your child can have.
For me, I also knew I wanted our children to have the financial freedom to experience life! Being a stay-at-home mom would have meant pinching every penny and just hoping to scrape by month-by-month. For some families, that isn’t the case and they are able to easily afford it, which is AMAZING! But often, this just isn’t the case.
I knew being a stay-at-home mom meant we were probably never going to be able to save up for a new house with more land. I knew it would be harder to give my daughter the ability to play as many sports or be in as many activities as she choses! I knew we would be sacrificing many family outtings and vacations throughout the years and saving up for college would be impossible.
I’m not shaming any one who makes being a stay-at-home mom a priority over those things. I’m just saying it’s OKAY to say that wanting to provide those experiences for your family is important to you. Money is not everything, but it is not evil to recognize the financial benefits being a working mom can provide for your family.
Step 4: Identify and let go of guilt.
My final recommendation is to really sit with yourself and identify if you are feeling guilt for going back to work. We all know mom guilt is a fierce competitor with our ability to thrive in motherhood. Are you struggling because you feel like your child will feel uncared for? Is it because a friend group has made comments about “never being able to imagine leaving their kid”?
Despite whatever may have you feeling this way, know that mom guilt exists on the other side too, and feeling it does not make you less of a mom.
The biggest takeaway is knowing that no matter what, no one will every replace you as your baby’s one and only mama. Please know that mothers can be successful in the home and outside of the home at the same time. Pray and trust yourself that you are more than enough. You are doing amazing, follow your callings and do all things for the Lord.
Bonus tip: Retail therapy never hurts!
Buying yourself a little back-to-work mom treat may just be what the doctor ordered! I have a list below of things that may help to make a treat-yourself package to make returning to work less stressful! (Also great ideas to gift to a new working mom in your life that may need a little extra love!)
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